Author: Vicki L. Reid
Email: dekrrini AT aim.com
Summary: Worf's wedding day with Jadzia has arrived. Can Worf let go of the past and Deanna?
Disclaimers: Paramount owns all things Star Trek. I'm only borrowing Worf and Troi for awhile, for fun not profit.
Lt. Commander Worf paced back and forth in his quarters. He glanced around the room, taking in his bat'telh hanging in its place of honor. *After tomorrow,* he thought to himself. *There will be another sword of honor next to mine.* A knot in his gut made him irritable with himself and anyone else in his vicinity. Fortunately, in accordance with Klingon tradition, most people on DS9 were leaving him alone on this day--the day before his wedding to Jadzia Dax. He had asked her several times to honor their mating with marriage before she finally agreed, and now that day was fast approaching, and all Worf wanted to do was run like hell. But that was not the Klingon way.
"It is the honorable thing to do," he stated aloud. "Klingons do not engage in meaningless sex. Once Jadzia and I became mates, we had to marry, to take the Oath. It is Tradition." So why he wondered, as he continued to pace back and forth becoming more irritable with each step, could he not get a pair of luminous black eyes out of his mind? Worf had tasted her blood and picked up her scent long ago, but never had acted on his heart's desire. If he had, he would not be marrying Jadzia.
"I love Jadzia," he said, trying to convince himself. But the lie was clear to him if to no one else. Klingons could not love with half a heart. The Klingon soul demanded fidelity, both of body and heart. Once given, not even death could truly sever the bond between loving hearts. Worf knew in his Klingon soul that his heart had been given twice--once to K'Ehleyr, mother of his son Alexander, and once to . . . "No!" he exclaimed. "I will not remember. I cannot remember! It would dishonor Jadzia."
But his soul replied, *You cannot forget. You have tried for over three years. But you cannot forget. Your heart beats as one with Hers, not Jadzia's.*
Raising clenched fists above his head, Worf let out a tremendous howl of frustration. "This cannot be! I have given my word to take the Oath with Jadzia. I must forget!"
Worf began pacing again. "Jadzia is beautiful." *Her eyes are not the deep black of space sparkling with inner stars.* "Jadzia is strong." *Her hair does not entangle itself in your fingers with a life of its own.* "Jadzia is brave." *Her smile does not make your heart pound or your blood run hot in your veins.* "Jadzia is . . ." *Not the one you love.*
"I cannot dishonor Jadzia," Worf told himself firmly. "I must take the Oath with her tomorrow. To do otherwise would be dishonorable." Moving to stand before his bat'telh, Worf stared steadily at his sword of honor, hoping the blade would instill some of its honor in him. Because at the moment, the Klingon warrior was feeling dishonest and disloyal. His honor spoke to him of Jadzia and his commitment to her, while his heart called to another whose blood he still tasted in his memory and whose scent forever filled his senses.
Nothing would help, Worf feared. If he honored Jadzia with his body and name by taking the Oath, he would dishonor his tIqqoch, his soulmate. But to run away, to dishonor Jadzia in such a way would also dishonor his tIqqoch.
Soon his friends, family actually, from the Enterprise-E would be arriving, coming to help celebrate his marriage. All but one had sent their congratulations and best wishes. All but one had wished him well. All but one had promised to attend his wedding. Worf sighed deeply. All but one, and that was the only one important to him.
His door chimed, announcing a visitor. "Go away!" he roared in frustration. But the visitor was not deterred, simply ringing the chime again. Stamping across the room, Worf accessed the door panel, releasing the lock code. As the door slid open, Worf opened his mouth to repeat his command, but no words left his mouth. He continued to gape at the small, beautiful Betazoid who stood smiling in the doorframe.
"Hallo, Worf," she said in her sweet voice which sent shivers down his spine.
*To Hell with honor,* Worf thought as he began pulling Deanna inside his quarters. He swept her into his arms, and watching carefully for any signs of resistance, placed his lips on hers in a kiss filled with passion, promise, and heart. Worf's soul felt Troi's heart beat as one with his. This was his tIqqoch, the one with whom he should and must take the Oath. Lifting his head from hers just enough to gaze into her eyes, Worf recited, " reH bang larghlu'. be'nal SoH Saw jIH."
Worf felt as if his heart would burst, when Deanna smiled, and said, "reH bang larghlu'. loDnal SoH nay jIH."
And so it was that Lt. Commander Worf did indeed have his wedding day--just a day early, with no guests and a different bride.
Deanna Troi, in her quarters at Captain Picard's command, watched the stars hurtling by her window with mixed emotions. Ever since the announcement of Worf's upcoming marriage to Jadzia Dax had arrived, Troi had wavered between wanting to stay as far away as possible from DS9 and needing to hurry to the station to try to stop the wedding. Having always been truthful with Worf, Deanna could not send a congratulatory message. She could no more wish him happiness with Dax than she could leave the safety of the Enterprise and walk in space without an EVA. Not when she wanted him so badly herself.
Thinking back, Troi remembered the feel of his arms around her, savoring in her mind the touch of his lips on hers. She remembered when the crew de-evolved because of Reg Barkley's virus, and a more primitive Worf bit her cheek--a prelude to the Klingon mating ritual. As she remembered the bite, Deanna found the tingly, stinging on her cheek once again spreading throughout her body, a strangely erotic sensation. The primitive Worf had done everything in his power to get to her while she was in sickbay. *So why did this Worf give up so easily on us?* she asked herself yet again.
Worf had told her once that they were tIqqoch--soulmates, and that their hearts beat as one. Since the crash of the Enterprise-D and her enforced separation from the man she loved, Deanna had studies Klingon lore, reading their poetry, sagas, and even romance novels. One thing was clear. When Klingons loved, they loved forever. And once mated, they bonded for life. *But not Worf,* Deanna sighed. *Or else he never truly loved me.*
That thought sent waves of pain through her body, and she commiserated with the alternate Troi who was missing her Klingon spouse and could not imagine a Worf who didn't love her. Sighing deeply, Deanna wondered the same thing. *How am I going to survive that wedding?* she asked herself, knowing she had to attend, for closure if for no other reason.
For weeks now, she had debated with herself about how to handle the situation. Simply going to the wedding and watching the man she loved with every fiber of her being did not seem at all palatable. Of course, she could pretend it was a Betazoid wedding and attend nude. *Maybe that would get his attention,* Deanna gloated a little. Another option would be to attend the wedding and object to the marriage at the proper time, which seemed rather pathetic to her.
Sighing again, Deanna reviewed her final two options. She could go to Worf and beg him to take her back, which she found to be both unpalatable and pathetic. Troi felt, however, that her best choice was to go to Worf and demand an explanation for his inexplicable behavior. Only then could she find closure on this part of her life.
Troi laughed a little sardonically. *Closure? Who do I think I'm kidding? It will never be over for Worf and me, no matter who he marries or how often.*
The Enterprise dropped out of warp and Deanna could see the space station. A sense of determination and purpose filled her very soul as Troi decided to fight for Worf. *Maybe he is content to give up on us,* she thought to herself. *But I am not. Prepare for the fight of your life, Jadzia Dax. To hell with Klingon honor. Worf is mine.*
Dressing in a very becoming, extremely revealing dress which swung loosely around her legs, but clung tightly in all the right places, Deanna prepared to do battle for her man. Worf belonged to her, body and soul, and she intended to get him back.
As she strode purposefully through the corridors of DS9, every man, both human and alien, turned to stare at Deanna Troi, awed by her beauty. Empathically, she could sense that more than a few found her to be almost irresistible, a definite boost to her somewhat shaky ego.
Pausing outside Worf's quarters, Deanna was almost overwhelmed by the fierce emotional battle raging within Worf--a battle over his desire for her. Troi smiled as she activated the door chime. She heard Worf bellow, "Go away!" But she ignored his order, and pressed the door chime once again.
His footsteps pounded across the floor, and then the door whooshed open before her. The man she could never forget stood before her, mouth agape.
"Hallo, Worf," she said. Although she sometimes had trouble 'reading' Klingons, Deanna was gratified by the realization that she could now hear Worf quite well, as he said clearly in her/his mind, *To hell with honor!*
Deanna's smile never left her face as Worf pulled her into his room and into his arms. Her heart pounded joyfully in her chest, when Worf slowly bend his head toward her, and Troi realized he was giving her the opportunity to back away. Instead, Deanna gave herself freely into his embrace. *tIqqoch,* her soul said to his, as their hearts beat as one.
Knowing that Worf wished to say something of great importance to her, Troi did not stop him when he lifted his head and gazed deeply into her eyes.
"bomDI' 'IwwIj qaqaw." Worf said. "be'bal SoH Saw jIH."
From her study of Klingon law and tradition, Deanna recognized the simplest version of the Oath, which when exchanged would bind them together for all eternity. She smiled into Worf's serious, if somewhat scared eyes, and replied softly, "bomDI' 'IwwIj qaqaw. loDnal SoH nay jIH."
And so it was that Counselor Deanna Troi wed her tIqqoch without benefit of clergy or Betazoid tradition, and without the presence of friends and family. But holding close to her heart the certain knowledge that she and Worf would never part again in their souls.